Okay, so this is something that has been on my mind for a while now. It seems like, especially as we get closer to the November election, people have went crazy where beliefs are concerned. I have literally been in a situation where I was informed that my beliefs are offensive, oppressive, and incorrect and told that I shouldn’t openly practice my beliefs. I am a Christian, but that should not offend you; that is my personal belief and the values on which I live my life. You are free to choose how to live your life yet you want to take that right away from me? How do you rationalize that?
I am pro-life: I do not support abortion. That is my personal choice. I have the right to believe that way. I have the right to pray in public: it would be different if I was screaming a prayer at the top of my lungs in the middle of a store or forcing you to pray with me; but me bowing my head and saying a silent prayer before meals should not offend you just as I am not offended that you do not pray.
How is it that I am ‘hating’ or ‘judging’ by living my beliefs yet you are right in telling me that I am wrong and that I’m a terrible person for believing the way I do? Have I ever forced you into a discussion about my religion? You can come to me anytime and I’ll answer any question you have about my beliefs, but do you even know my stance on most things? If you don’t, that’s a pretty good sign that I’m not beating you over the head with my beliefs as you seem to be implying that I am. I am just so sick of all the bullying and controversy.
My life is not perfect; I’ve made mistakes and messed up along the way. But do you know what makes me different? It’s that I have been forgiven by a God who saw through all my mistakes and could see my potential. I choose to follow His teachings; to live my life for Him. You have the right to choose how to live your life, but I have chosen to live for Christ. That’s a choice that each of us are entitled to make.
I know I’m not the only one currently dealing with this, I have friends who have been facing the same thing. I write this because I want to let others know that you are NOT ALONE! Even when it seems like they are coming at you from all sides, trust in God’s perfect timing; that person who is watching to see how you handle everything and waiting to see if you back down, that person might be the one who sees something special in you and one day leads your family to Christ. Be encouraged and keep going!
‘Okay… I get it!’ That is what I literally wanted to shout today; and I never shout.
So, lets go back to the beginning. A guy I know was giving me and another girl and really hard time before class because we’re both single. He was saying it jokingly… but putting someone down and insulting them using a joking tone isn’t really a good excuse… and he wouldn’t let it go. He called me ‘sheltered’ and said that he really wants to take me to a strip club because apparently that’s ‘what I need’ to help get me out of my shell. I can usually laugh these things off and move on, and outwardly I did, but it bothered me.
I bothered me because I want nothing more than to be in a relationship; I want nothing more than to be a wife and mother… but that’s something that hasn’t worked out in my life yet. I have spent so many nights crying because of the loneliness that I sometimes can’t seem to shake off… because I hold my friends’ precious babies and want one of my own so badly. How can I miss a baby so badly that I’ve never even met? How can I miss a man who I don’t even know? But I do; with all my heart I miss them and feel the loss.
I wanted so badly to tell him that ‘I get it… just let it go’. But as I sat there during class listening to an utterly boring lecture by a professor who really doesn’t seem to like any of us, God placed a message on my heart: you make the decision every day whether you’re going to focus on what your life is missing or all the things you have been blessed with. I have been so down and so discouraged for a while now: trying to manage two jobs and school along with everything else going on in my life and I had been feeling so defeated. Then, last night, I had a long talk with God and He gave me back the peace I have been missing for the past couple months. I had gotten so busy with life that I hadn’t been spending time with Him. And today, when Satan came back in my face trying to make me feel alone, unworthy, unwanted, and unloved God gave me that gentle reminder that He has blessed me; my life is not empty and I am loved by the Creator of the universe. How amazing to feel loved by such a wonderful God! I am single, and I sometimes battle loneliness, but I am waiting on God’s timing; waiting on the man I know God created just for me.
I’m not going to settle and I’m not going to rush His perfect timing. With God’s help, I am going to keep focusing on those blessings and trusting Him with my future. I encourage you all: don’t let anyone tell you that you need a man and rush you into a relationship that isn’t right for you: I learned from experience that it only leads to heartache and pain. Be encouraged that, in God’s perfect timing, He will reveal His perfect ending to your story.